I'm Nothing But a Sinner... Saved by Grace

On the way home from Harding, I was thinking about how the trip went and what I learned. Just to let you know, the trip was great. I had some good conversations with good friends and really got to know one or two people that I didn't know very well before. But as I was thinking about it, I realized something by some of the ways people interacted with me and spoke to me. I realized that in all places of my life (Harding, Blackhawk, my own home) there is this image of me that is squeaky clean. There is this choir boy image that people have of me that makes them not surprised when I bring up God or the Bible in conversation. "Of course he cares about God, he's a good kid." So I wanted to make some things clear and I hope they are clear by the end of this.

(When I thought about doing this, I wondered if it would be weird for the people that read it and if they would look at me differently. The answer is yes, it would be weird and they will look at me differently. That's the point.)

I want you to know that I am a sinner. I have violent thoughts towards people I disagree with on a daily basis. For years I have been back and forth with lust, pornography and masturbation. I have arrogant feelings when I get around certain people, and I feel like I'm better than them because of the things that I don't do. I get angry very easily and say demeaning and hurtful things to people. I'm lazy and sit around doing nothing productive for hours. I am selfish and will look for the best for myself in every situation no matter who it hurts. I want to make my name and my image look good, and I blatantly lie and do things that will make people think a certain way about me. If you are sitting there and thinking, 'Oh big deal. He doesn't get drunk or do drugs or any of the big stuff.' I want you to know something. Every day, from when I open my eyes in the morning to when I lay down at night, I fall short of the glory of the Lord. Constantly. It doesn't matter if I make my treasure drugs or my image; I am making it something other than God. So you should see that I am trash. I am a sinner to the fullest degree.

But the good news is that I am saved. Now listen carefully because I want you to hear why. I am not saved because I don't do drugs. I am not saved because I don't party and have sex. I am not saved because I love people and like to do good things for those in need. I am not saved because I like to read my Bible. I am not saved because I've been baptized. I am not saved because I confessed in front of my church that Jesus is Lord. I am not saved because I do "Christian" things. I am saved by the perfect and awesome grace of God and only the grace of God. I have done nothing to save myself. Christ saved me. So I have no reason to boast.

Because of God's amazing grace, I can happily say that I hate my sin. I agonize all the time over the instances where I fall short of His glory. He has given me that hatred for things that are not Him. I can happily say that I love that I was baptized and brought remembrance of the death and resurrection of Christ. I can happily say that I love to read the Bible and confess that Jesus is Lord to people and praise His awesome saving grace. I can happily say all of this was given to me by Christ and His awesome grace. None of it is my own doing. That is why I have no reason to boast. IT IS NOT OF ME!

I hope this cleared up any thoughts of me. I am not squeaky clean and I am not a choir boy. I am an adopted child of God by His grace alone. I have no reason to boast in myself, but I will boast of Christ as loud and as often as I can until the day that I die.

All for His glory,

Mitchell